Bitcoin Tops Targets, Exchanges Summoned, Ban Enforced: Crypto Jokes Abound
Bitcoin Tops Targets, Exchanges Summoned, Ban Enforced: Crypto Jokes Abound

Bitcoin Tops Targets, Exchanges Summoned, Ban Enforced: Crypto Jokes Abound

• Institutional investors are targeting Bitcoin, while a new BRC-69 standard promises cost reduction.
• Exchange heads were summoned to parliament and several countries enforced a ban on retail crypto investment services.
• $204 million was lost in DeFi hacks, while Chinese state-owned banks joined the CBDC development race.

Bitcoin Targeted by Institutions

Institutional investors remain focused on Bitcoin as a Bitcoin ordinals launchpad introduced a new BRC-69 standard promising 90% cost reduction. Ethereum users proposed ERC 7265 to thwart DeFi hacks , and value locked in Solana’s liquid staking protocols surged by 91% in the first half of the year . Nasdaq resubmitted an application to list a bitcoin ETF by BlackRock , while other major players also resubmitted their applications as well. Bernstein said that there is a strong possibility that the US SEC would approve a spot BTC ETF . Revolut said it would halt the offering of SOL, ADA, and MATIC for US customers, and Harry Styles’ fans were introduced to blockchain rewards through a concert app.

Crypto Exchange Heads Summoned

ApeCoin crashed as NFT prices dropped due to Azuki drama , further Justin Bieber lost $1.2 million on his Bored Ape NFT . Australia’s financial regulator visited Binance offices as part of an ongoing probe into its defunct local derivatives business, and stopped deposits & withdrawals of several cross-chain bridge tokens associated with Multichain. Brazilian lawmakers summoned the heads of Binance, Bitso, and OKX to parliament , while Coinbase wanted to modernize its direct deposit system using blockchain based stablecoin settlements. Bitget launched a new crypto lending program allowing users to stake their coins in exchange for loans in another currency, and OKX signed sponsorship deal with Manchester City forming its ‘official sleeve partner’ . Huobi silently resolved vulnerability that exposed user assets for two years.

DeFi Hacks & Losses

A report found that $204 million was lost in DeFi hacks & scams during Q2 2023, while hacker exploited Poly Network swapping out nearly $10 million worth ETH tokens. South Korea’s FSC investigated Delio for alleged fraud , embezzlement & breach of trust; UK’s FCA advised all Crypto firms to comply with October deadline; Denmark’s FSA directed Saxo Bank dumping its cryptocurrency holdings ; Singapore issued trust requirements safeguarding crypto investments & enforced ban on retail customers ; Thailand joined Singapore among Southeast Asian countries banning retail lending & staking services; Belarus set to ban peer-to-peer crypto ‘exchanges’ .

CBDC Development Race

Chinese state owned banks joined CBDC development race; central bank digital currencies (CBDC) could be used for global payments across borders raising questions about existing private sector solutions such as Facebook’s Libra Project which have been facing regulatory challenges from various governments around the world including US & EU officials who remain sceptical about digital currencies backed by tech giants like Facebook stating user privacy concerns regarding data collection practices adopted by these companies as well as potential money laundering activities potentially enabled through their use cases if implemented without proper checks & balances being put into place before launching commercially available products or services related thereto so far still remain unanswered satisfactorily thus far despite efforts being made both internally within respective organizations developing them externally via public consultations organized periodically from time time both online offline forums alike seeking input stakeholders industry experts legal professionals etcetera order ensure compliance all applicable laws regulations standards rules guidelines prevailing domestically internationally where relevant when designing deploying such projects initiatives not limited but including those pertaining monetary policy cyber security consumer protection anti money laundering know customer process banking correspondent networks foreign exchange operations international payments remittances inter alia amongst others before they can become widely available commercially usable general public worldwide beyond simply testing pilots within certain geographies under specific conditions monitored closely regulators authorities concerned oversee smooth functioning thereof then roll out globally if deemed fit after due assessment same upon successful completion respective tests runs experiments conducted prior approval sought granted following due diligence done verified audited satistfactory manner eventually form basis upon which permission granted commercially operate participate actively enable transactions taking place between parties involved realtime records maintained immutable distributed ledger technology (DLT).

Crypto Jokes This Week

To lighten up this week news we present you 20 Crypto jokes : 1) What did Satoshi Nakamoto say when he created Bitcoin? “I think I’m going to invent something revolutionary!” 2) Why do people invest in crypto? So they can get rich quick! 3) How does Satoshi Nakamoto feel when someone says they don’t believe in Bitcoin? He doesn’t care — he just keeps mining! 4) What did one blockchain say to the other? “Let’s decentralize!” 5) What did one Ethereum miner say to another? “Hash me baby one more time!” 6) What did Satoshi Nakamoto say when he saw someone buy pizza with Bitcoin? “That’ll be 10 million dollars please!” 7) Why did Ethereum miners go on strike? They wanted higher block rewards! 8 )Why do whales love Ethereum so much? Because it’s full of gas! 9 )Why don’t miners mine Dogecoin anymore? It isn’t profitable enough! 10) What did one cryptographer say when asked why he invested so much money into cryptocurrencies? “It was too tempting not too!” 11 )What did one blockchain developer say when asked what his favorite programming language is? Solidity! 12 )Why don’t hackers hack cryptocurrency exchanges anymore ? Because they’re too secure now ! 13 )What did one altcoin investor say after losing all her money ? “Hodl until death do us part ! 14 )What did Satoshi Nakamoto say after creating Bitcoin ? ” In math we trust ! 15 )How do miners pay their bills ? With mining rewards ! 16 )Why do people keep talking about cryptocurrency ? Because it’s too good an opportunity to pass up ! 17 )What does every cryptographer have in common ? They all love solving puzzles ! 18 )Why are there so many ICOs popping up lately ? To make quick profits off unsuspecting investors ! 19 )What do you call someone who invests in cryptocurrency without doing any research beforehand ? A fool and his money are soon parted ! 20 )Why should you always be careful investing your hard earned money into cryptocurrencies ? Because markets can crash at any moment leaving you empty handed!